funny dreams and banana milkshakes.

5 Dec

it’s been a while since i updated, but yeah i’ve been lazy so yeah :/ hehehe. anyway, this is gonna be one LONG AND EMOTIONAL POST.

was looking through my past photos and cards and everything, and really just started thinking about things. To me, 2010 was a horrible year, filled with sadness and heartbreak and idk what. Everything in 2010 was really just a blur, and all I remember telling people is “I hated 2010 cuz it sucked. It absolutely sucked ass.” But just now, when I saw all my little memories noted in cards, and everything, I realise I actually forgot about the sweet and happy memories that made their way to me throughout all the bitterness and depression.Β All I focused on, was how pathetic I was, the friendships I lost, how many insults I received, and how I felt a lot of the time. I forgot about the happy memories, the friends that I took for granted, and in turn, I lost them.

To think about it, I was really being sensitive and silly over everything. Certain “storms” and “nightmares”, to me now, are really nothing but a childish me just blowing up matters and being retarded. I feel really nostalgic and apologetic but I have no idea where to start.

Hi Person (****i**),Β 

I’m not sure if you’ll see this, but somehow I’m just really sorry for whatever shit we had. There were lots of misunderstandings in between, and all I cared about was trying to defend myself against any accusations I faced, out of which some I still believe I am in the right till this day. But of course, I was at fault too, so I’m saying sorry. It’s been more than a year since the incident happened, but I never got a chance to really say sorry. Really just hope we can erase the past and you know, start a friendship again? Really hate any awkwardness between us. You were once one of my best-est friends, and I have no idea what happened in between, but to me now, it’s all just a mix and myriad of colours that although had grey and black in it, was also filled with brightness like yellow. I guess I just asked for too much, and was too sensitive about certain stuff, so yep sorry girl. Hope you’ll see this and we can restart our friendship πŸ™‚

xx,

Ashley

and to the rest of the people involved (you know who you are), I’m sorry that such a fight happened between us, and somehow I”ve never been able to really pick up the pieces. You guys were once the most important part of my life, and though now the mirror has shattered, you guys still occasionally cross my mind and I do still miss you guys. Do you guys ever think about me sometimes too? I don’t know but if you do see this too, then thank you for all the beautiful memories you guys left me with, and hope we can catch up sometime soon okay? πŸ™‚

but anw, had a dream just now that was really RIDICULOUS AND SCARY. LOL I dreamt of him and sungyeol and rachael and a lot of people lah wtbong LOLOL πŸ™‚ and this random dude that looked 90% like him HAHAHA, and he liked me instead and had the same personality and I was torn between the two because like he’s not the original. I told him (as in the real one) and he was like angry or smth idk wth i’m talking HAHAHAHA and I was in dance. DANCE, YKNOW LIKE HIPHOP. whoohoo~~ and sungyeol went blind for me (wth? -_-) and rachael and me were bimbo-ing away like there’s no tmr hehehe! πŸ™‚ JUST LOVE THAT GIRLLLLL. #bimbos4lyfe πŸ˜€

and so yep i texted her after that cuz i miss her like shit asbjdkhfkjkl 😦 and like we promised a few things hohoho!

1. to start our same food menu choices everyday when school reopens

2. to be retarded and laugh over stupid things

3. and to fangirl ( HER OVER HER JB AND ME OVER BEAST/INFINITE)

πŸ˜€

oh plus plus!! she’s not gng for class outing 😦 so hehe depends on my mood cuz i don’t really feel like gng too! hehehe πŸ™‚ and i got her her present alr (she’s got me mine too WAHAHAHAHA :D) but idk whether i should save this prezzie for her birthday instead cuz it’s on the february idk what AHAHA sorry dear! πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ and so really near + more meaningful mah πŸ™‚ hehehee see how first.

but gosh just got my parcel from online not long ago that had my pullover in it!!!! so happy cuz it’s black and polka dotted πŸ˜€ SHALL TAKE A PHOTO ONE DAYYYYY πŸ™‚ hehehehe! and like waiting for my nail polish now πŸ™‚ it’s gonna be so damn pretty omgosh. LOLOLOL I JUST LOVE SHOPPING.

may not be some rich kid who always affords stuff from H&M, topshop, zara, and idk what, but I still love these brands so yupp i’ll save money!! πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ $_$ and i like shopping online a LOT. LIKE SERIOUSLY HAHHA. no need go out, still can get at home! only thing is i have to wait 😦 annoying much.

and for those who wanna get me a xmas prezzie, here’s the list:

-nail polishes from OPI/china glaze πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ (!!!!!!)

-pretty pullovers from korea that are big and comfyyy! πŸ™‚ or actually any pullover from f21 blah all can πŸ˜€

-leather bags in burgundy/purplegray/whatever as long as they’re pretty πŸ™‚

-DOCTOR MARTENS OMGOSH THEY’RE DAMN PRETTY. or like gladiators in brown/black πŸ™‚

-or hmmmm some bangles from h&m or diva or whatever. those classy ones horrrrr HAHA πŸ™‚

my shoe size is 7, now go go!!!!! πŸ™‚

 

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